Round 3 is apparently in the City, and I don't know, maybe it's just me, but the perspective seems to really be out of whack here. Or maybe my vision just sucks, I dunno. Something seems off about that clock... And that lamppost just looks wrong. Anyway, the pressure mounts a little here, as the enemies really pile onto the screen, barely giving you chance to breathe as Flies and Bees trip over themselves trying to get in the frame. Oh, and our buddies, the Laser Bee Death Squad, make a return here, just to kick you while you're down. Isn't that thoughtful? As well as old foes brought back, we're also introduced to a new, relatively inconsequential enemy, the... Uh... Floating orb thingy? It just sits there as a stationary target, with the occasional flash of electricity coming from it, but it's just for show. It takes a lot of bullets to destroy it, though, so I guess it's some kind of mere annoyance. It does its job well.

While I'm here, though, I might as well give you this gem from the Mega Drive game's instruction manual, the description for Stage 3...

The enemy forces begin attacking the humans.
KAIT is fighting alone high in the sky, above the city.
The humans can do noting but watch.

This manual needs a real proof-reader, and badly so.
KAIT is very lucky to be in such a high-budget game.
I could do with a sandwich right now.



And now, to the sewers! In the arcade version, this section is a rather jolly stroll through the waste management facility, and although the enemy keeps up the same level of resistance they've been doling out since the beginning (i.e. a sizable amount) it's not really that difficult. In the Mega Drive version, it's an exercise in futility and frustration. OK, it starts out pretty nice and friendly, but once you get to the bit shown in the screenshot, well... Let me talk you through it, step by step.

First, you've got to get past the mushroom thing. Slightly more difficult without a subweapon since with one, you could probably kill it before you go down the shaft pictured, because it'll fire lots of shots at you. Still, it's easy enough.

Then, you must go up and down, passing a pillar, where at the bottom, in the water, lurks an accursed enemy that sort-of looks like a tiny octopus in the Mega Drive game, but resembles a prawn in the arcade version. This enemy is impossible to kill without a subweapon in this position. If you let it live, it'll fire a slow-moving shot upwards that, when it's level with you, will split into three shots and head in your direction.

Then, you must face an open space with spiders on the roof (which fire spread shots at you) AND more of the octopus things (keeping in mind that the one behind you is, in all likeliness, still alive and firing at you) AND you've got to fight two Middle Boss insects who fire very strange bullets that stay level with them even when they move up and down, so getting level with them to kill them is also getting level with their bullets of death.

Then, you place your fist neatly into the TV screen.
OK, not really, kids, don't try this at home.



And, er, for whatever reason, the arcade game has this rather pointless little section shoehorned in before the boss.

You're attacked by a few Flies, and a few Bees, but that's it. It's entirely superfluous.



And now for a funky boss battle! I say funky without regret, as the arcade boss seems to have a rather terrible affliction of Disco Fever as he flings all sorts of crazy colours at you as his primary attack with wanton abandon. This also makes them rather difficult to see, which is just awesome. His Mega Drive equivalent is slightly more merciful, firing bullets that you can actually see well enough to avoid, but he fires just as many of them. Both of them also use the gun to fire a stream of bullets at you, but that's hardly an issue when the boss moves up and down so much. Just keep drilling the head with bullets, while moving around and trying your best to avoid the onslaught of projectiles, and this boss goes down. Since there's hardly any variation in its movement, it's actually a pretty easy boss, the torrent of bullets notwithstanding.

We're past the halfway point now, and I consider this the proof of a benevolent God. To the Jungle!



Behold, mortal, and thrill to the exploits of the Skull of the Giant Man! Half-Man, Half Giant, he has seen the deaths of more insects than you can imagine! His skull is bigger than a tree trunk, and revered by the Burgoid race as a God-like deity!... Well, OK, not really, but that is one freakishly big skull, if you look at the trees it's in front of. Either that, or we're in The Land of the Midget Trees, or something. Um, anyway, the Jungle is the next stage, and it's bursting with insects ready to gun you down in cold blood. Rather annoyingly, one of the new-comers here also happens to be the sole enemy I never got a screenshot of, and much as I love you, my *cough* willing audience, I'm not playing this game again for a long time, so you'll do without the frankly boring Ant enemy, who basically walks on the ground and, er, shoots at you. They can withstand a surprising amount of bullets before taking a dirt nap, though. The rest of the enemies are ones we've all seen before, including the Ladbird and Fish enemies.



After the jungle, we enter The Caves of Cackdom! Alright, that's not what they're really called. They're just, well, caves, but my extremely exhaustive system of grabbing screenshots (i.e. playing the game with my eyes closed while jamming the 'Screenshot' button and praying for a quick death) managed to catch another Mega Drive exclusive feature, the Crash item. This appears in the arcade game too (I saw it once on the third stage) but not in this fashion- the arcade's Crash item kills all enemies on screen instantly the second you touch it. The Mega Drive game allows you to store it with your other sub-weapons, and use it when you see fit. It won't kill everything, though, some of the larger enemies only get scratched by it. In a shocking display of kindness, you get to keep it after you get shot down. As for the caves themselves, they're nothing to write home about. Laser Bee Death Squads, spiders hanging from the ceiling... It's standard stuff.



Again, the arcade game insists on adding another small section before the boss, and it's almost identical to the one in Stage 3, with the same enemies attacking you, with the addition of... Oh, wait, check it out, I did get the Ant enemy after all! How joyous. He's on the floor there. You can see him, right? Good. I said I wasn't going to play this game for a long time, and I'm sticking to my word. If I feel the need to kill insects, I'll just load up Global Defence Force, thank you very much (there we are, folks, another obscure game shout-out to increase my credibility! I just need more references to Earthbound to earn my Hip Gamer badge).



And now, it's Boss Time, and it is, of course, the one major insect we haven't seen enough of yet- the humble Spider. Poor Yanmer/Kait/whatever has been lured into this evil insect's web of lies! Ahaha! Another insect joke! Aha! Ha! Ha. ha. Anyway, this boss just moves up and down, like practically every boss before it and fires smaller spiders at you, which seem to come from the back of the screen. It'll also sometimes spit out a few bullets at you (5 in the arcade, 3 in the MD version) and sometimes lunges forward as it does so. Still, nothing to write home about, really, it's a pretty standard boss. Nothing compared to the unmitigated horror that is Stage 2's boss at any rate...

This article has gone for far too long already, but you'd better believe it keeps going.

Don't worry. There's only two more pages. And one of them's really short. Just stick with me, we'll get through this.

The Burgoid must be destroyed! To the next page!