Only one door? Strange... At this point, the game stops you from picking from 2 worlds- you're forced into the Castles in the Sky World.
This is probably my favourite world in the game. It really epitomises what Robocod, at its heart, really is- a goofy platformer that doesn't take itself seriously, and just revels in the absurdity of it all. Look- the entire stage is constructed out of Lego pieces Mega Bloks some strange brick-like things that almost certainly don't look like Lego pieces, and your enemies include living plant-pots that hop in your general direction, and Beefeaters! What are they doing here, exactly? Why Beefeaters, of all things? I think the real question here is, clearly, why not? Anyway, this opening stage is pretty simple, with a few penguins tucked away in some easy-to-spot hidey-holes, but things don't get really interesting until the end.
Yes, the stretching gimmick is actually useful for once! Grab the ceiling and go past the actual exit to go to a BONUS STAGE!!!
Right, let's see here... Magical car? Nah, it's pretty worthless for the vertical stages that lie ahead.
Magical plane? I'll pass, those aviator goggles irritate my forrid.
Oh, be still, my beating heart!
MAGICAL FLYING BATHTUB!
MAGICAL FLYING BATHTUB!
MAGICAL FLYING BATHTUB!
MAGICAL FLYING BATHTUB!
MAGICAL FLYING BATHTUB!
MAGICAL FLYING BATHTUB!
MAGICAL FLYING BATHTUB!
Yes, the entire world can be beaten with the MAGICAL FLYING BATHTUB and there's not a damn thing anyone can do to stop you.
Incidentally, playing through this world without the MAGICAL FLYING BATHTUB is pretty standard stuff, with a few castles to infiltrate... Except for the beanstalk stage, which is basically a reprise of the Mince Pie Tower but slightly less soul-crushing when you miss a jump. For maximum enjoyment, however, taking the gift of the MAGICAL FLYING BATHTUB- sadly the last of them in the game- is highly recommended.
Next on our itinerary is the Music and Arts World.
I actually wanted to call this world the Arts and Crafts world, as it just sounds better, but alas, there's more music-themed stages in this world than there are arty things, and the first stage shows that Santa is really on the ball with modern technology- the entire music section has a background of gigantic speakers. Shame they're blasting out the game's main theme, Catlots, rather than something like Anthrax, but never mind, eh? This stage is also the home to one of my favourite visual gags in the entire game- a stereo system with a dog motif, apparently made by- wait for it!- Bony. Ohohohoho, my sides, they are splitting.
As for the level itself, there's not much to say, because very early on, you can find a Wing power-up which completely kills any challenge the stage may have once had. Weirdly enough, you can also find a plane in this stage, so you could use that instead... But never the wings and the plane at the same time. Talk about overkill.
The next stage is... A beach? A world of yellow point? No-one cares, because it takes 2 seconds to find the BONUS STAGE!!!
Don't worry, that stage was boring anyway. There's no need to feel guilty about skipping it, because it means we move on to...
...This.
Another stage to add to the 'what is this even doing in Santa's grotto' list, this is exactly as it looks like- it's an eerie place where, against a perfectly white background, you hop along a music sheet while battling giant centipedes and Paper Card Birds. And collect strawberries too, obviously. What more do I need to add here, really? I hope I don't have to explain how completely insane a stage like this is... But I might as well add that it's also quite difficult. When you're hopping between individual notes, there's not much room for error, but Robocod happens to be one of those forgiving games where falling off the screen merely sends you bouncing back up, taking a bit of health off you at the same time.
The next stage isn't quite as wacky, sadly- it's just a pretty standard romp through a world of ink-wells and typewriters with eyes. There's really nothing too interesting in this stage, although something that's always bothered me- the pencils have eyes, the typewriters have eyes, and nearly everything else in the whole game has eyes somewhere on them... But what about the inkwells on this stage? They're clearly lacking peepers, and I find that terrible. If even the cricket balls in the Sports World deserve eyes, then surely the inkwells do as well? Poor show, Millennium!
The next stage is actually a really interesting one- it's Super Fun Mystery Time!
Four penguins to save, but Pond seems to be trapped in this small area. How will he ever escape?!
A solution- hidden walls! Of course!
This stage is just a gauntlet of hidden entrances. Once you've found the first one (in the bottom-left part of the chamber you start in), you just work your way around the stage. Find a penguin, then find the next hidden path, and keep on your merry way... Until you end up back in the original chamber, and take the top-right exit out, and repeat the process in a different area. Make sure you do it in that order, though, otherwise you'll end up at the Exit Pole with 2 penguins missing, and you wouldn't want to have to backtrack all the way through the level again now, would you?
Oh, and the end of the stage is a bit blink-and-you'll-miss-it, so pay attention!
After all that mystery-solving on the last stage, it's a boring auto-scroll stage. Sod that.
What you'll want to do here is wait for a bonus Exit Pole to scroll on-screen- hop up and grab it for a quick escape.
The next stage is a bit livelier- the first part takes place on a gigantic piano with a bevy of booby traps lying in wait- a lot of the keys are actually fake, and they'll rise up as you step on them, hoping to send you into a bunch of spikes. Fortunately, they're painfully easy to spot, so you shouldn't fall victim to them... Slightly more devious is the trap pictured in the middle screenshot- oh, sure, you think it's an entrance to a BONUS STAGE!!!, but you're deceived, because that gigantic arrow is actually pointing to a spike trap. Don't fall for it.
Halfway through the stage, the piano motif is tossed out and replaced with guitars and smiling guitar picks. Yeah, I don't get it either, but it means that the stage (albeit awkwardly) changes styles from endless trap-dodging, replaced with more platform-leaping, so it's all good. The orange guitar picks look a bit too laid-back, though, it kind-of creeps me out...
Oh, and at the end, you'll want to watch out for the stage's final attempt to kill you- it'll try to crush you with this piano key. Nice try, asshole.
This stage starts by taunting you, showing you an Exit Pole you can't possibly reach. Surely that's not allowed?
A pretty compact maze, the final stage in this world seems to be impossible the first time you scope it out- the platform you need to reach to be able to get down to the Exit Pole seems to be unreachable, but if video games have taught me anything, the word 'impossible' shouldn't exist. The platform can only be reached by going all the way to the right and hopping amongst more giant guitar picks. One of them (a scarily-cheerful blue one) is a secret moving platform that'll let you get to where you need to be. Job's a good 'un, and the world is over.
Fourth boss, coming right up. Maybe it'll be a gigantic musical note.
WHAT IS GOING ON I DON'T EVEN AAAAAAAAHHHHH
For the penultimate boss battle, the coders decided to double their fun by presenting the boss in spooky Mirror-o-Vision... Although it's not implemented very well. As you can see, there's two Ponds, and two ugly ballerinas on screen- for fits and giggles, let's call them Chinchin and Cheechee. One of the Ponds is a mirror image- you move left, he'll move right, and so on, but there isn't actually a real 'mirror' effect here, as you can overlap each other. There's also some CD player platforms that are supposed to move in sync, but one will sometimes move faster than the other... It's basically a bit slip-shod, this boss battle is.
As for actually beating these two troublesome twins, I'll level with you- it's difficult unless you know exactly what to do. They just jump around a lot, but they happen to suffer from pretty ropey collision detection, which usually results in Pond getting flung across the screen like a tennis ball, and no matter how much you avoid them, you'll probably end up dying. The trick is to wait until they jump near the middle, then keep jumping and bouncing off their heads. While they're flashing after being hit, they can't hurt you, so you're safe, and they won't move either. Get the timing right, and you can keep them there for the entire battle. Lovely jubbly!
Before I figured out this cheeky little exploit, I actually got a Game Over here. This is what happens:
That's right- they eat the poor bastard! How cruel!
Anyway, once you've given Chinchin and Cheechee what-for, you've finished the penultimate world in the game. Only 1 left now!
On the next page, Pond discovers the wonders of orange jelly, and defeats Dr. Maybe, maybe.