The final battle takes place- where else?- in the Hide-Out, which is above Papua New Guinea.

We all know who the target is by now- it's the alien leader Famardy (US/Europe) / King Famardy (Japan).

Let's do this!



We start with a pointless little opening bit where you chosen hero poses, then jumps into the Volcano in Lavicus' stage. There's another 'PRESS THE BUTTON IN A TIMELY MANNER' mini-game, just like in the Desert, and once again, if you manage to succeed you'll be given an extra life. Hope you've got an itchy trigger finger, you'll need one to get the extra life here. Now, for those geography nuts at home wondering how this place is above Papua New Guinea if Lavicus' stage was in the Philippines, the answer is obvious- we don't encounter Famardy until the end of a long corridor, so it's fair to assume that it's an under-sea passage that leads from the Philippines to Papua New Guinea. Remember, the sense of scale in this game is a bit skewed- what seems like a meter is several miles!

... Yes, I've thought about this far too much. Let's... Let's just keep playing.



So, this is Famardy's headquarters. The only thing of note is the abundance of flame spots around here- they'll spark up from time to time, so don't walk into them when you do. Anyway, it's quiet here. If you'll permit me to trot out a cliché, it's too quiet. In this opening sequence, all you've got is the ominous music and a small bunch of aliens that attack you. They all drop items, so it's clearly an opportunity to get yourself ready for the final boss. Come on then, Famardy, you gigantic intergalactic fat-ass, let's get this show on the road and...



... Wait, what?



No, no!

No no no no no!

You've got to be... You've got to be fucking joking!



Unfortunately, SNK are not joking. If King of the Monsters 2 didn't fall apart for you by the time you got to Clawhead, if it didn't implode on itself during the Beetle Master clone sequence, and if it didn't find a corner to crawl into and die after the 42nd time you spammed a projectile in Lavicus' general direction, then this sequence will kill it for you entirely. It's not solely the fact that it's a Boss Rush, it's the fact that it's a Boss Rush in what's essentially a fighting game. There is no excuse for this, abso-fucking-lutely no excuse. A Boss Rush in a Mega Man game is appropriate, because the amount of time you spend fighting the Robot Masters is nothing compared to the time you spend in the stages themselves. A Boss Rush in appropriate in a Final Fantasy game, because it sometimes fits in with the plot and, again, you don't spend more than half the game fighting bosses. The problem is, King of the Monsters 2 consists of about 10% side-scrolling, 90% boss fighting. A Boss Rush is the last fucking thing this game needs.

To get back to the game itself, I don't think I really need to say much about this. It's a fucking chore to go through. There aren't even any concessions- Eiffelyte still has his floating-head form, Beetle Master still splits in two, and any stage-related advantages (I'm thinking mostly Clawhead and Lavicus here) get thrown entirely out the window. Even worse, every time a new boss appears, you'll actually get knocked on your ass and have to get up unless you're clever and you jump as they get beamed down. The only minor saving grace is that, between each boss, you get given a few items... Unfortunately, they're all ? items, which means that sometimes, they'll have Power-Downs.

This is not just a bad game design choice, mind you. It's a hateful, spiteful one.



Once you make it past this slog, Famardy taunts you one last time.

Let's get this over with already. Show yourself, you fat piece of shit!



... Whoa.



Famardy is indeed a fat piece of shit. In fact, he's the fattest piece of shit in the entire galaxy, and certainly the biggest lump of lard you'll ever have to battle in a fighting game. He's also one of the ugliest too, and good Lord, just look at his health bar! You'd better believe this fight's gonna be a long one. Now, unlike his cronies, Famardy actually plays at least a little bit fair, mostly because he can't grapple you. Instead, he can harm you by just touching you. This is the main way he does damage, by simply barging into you. He's also got some projectile attacks, like the same ones Aqua Slug had that inflate your character and a standard lightning bolt, and he has a few attacks involving that thing coming out of his mouth. With one of them, he'll starting chewing on your head (waggle the joystick to get out of it) and, in an almost sick display of cruelty towards the player, Famardy will glow red and stick his thing out- if it hits you, he swallows you whole, you lose a life instantly, you smash the monitor and leave the arcade forever.



However, most of these things are actually negligible. His projectile/mouth attacks are telegraphed way in advance, so the only real problem is his energy-sapping touch. And, well, the fact that to get to Famardy you have to literally wade through a universe of shit so by this time you're really not in the mood. It's a real shame, as Famardy is probably the only boss that isn't ridiculously cheap, and he's actually quite fun to fight. I'm not saying he's a pushover or anything (his health bar is way too long for that) but he doesn't constantly grapple you and win, he doesn't spam the same moves over and over again (most of the time he just moves around) and maybe it's just me, but there's a special kind of joy in taking on an alien that's three times as tall as you, literally kicking his fat interstellar ass around his own hide-out, complete with the screen shuddering every time his blubbery behind hits the deck.

Just a shame they put this after all the other shit in the game.



Once you've kicked Famardy's big butt for long enough, he'll die, and split up into teeny-tiny mini-Famardys.

You've got 10 seconds on the clock- destroy them before it's over and you get the good ending. Should you fail, you'll get the bad one.

Fortunately, this is really, really easy. They don't scatter too far, so you shouldn't have too much trouble.

On the last page, we've got endings, soundtracks, and of course, more whining from me!