Stage 3: Alice's Playground
♫ BGM: The Doll Maker of Bucuresti ♫

Is that it is snowing only this paradise?
The paradise was already Alice's playground.

We're still not quite at the turning point yet, but Stage 3 is still a bit more difficult than the first two stages.

From the get-go, you get a feeling it's going to be different... The background's non-existent, for starters. It's so dark here...



Even more telling is the fact that a mass of fairies appear before we really start, as the graphics start to blur... What's happening?!

Could it... Could it be that a new foe draws near?!




Whoa! Alice Margatroid joins the fray with her dolls and book of spells in tow! She uses them to attack enemies with colourful bullets. She and her dolls share a fated symbiotic relationship... I guess it takes all kinds, especially here in Gensokyo. Can she finally defeat her rival, Marisa?!
I'm so, so sorry for that awful joke.

Smash Bros. jokes aside, Alice really doesn't muck about. You've only been on her turf for about 10 seconds, and she's already raring to kick you into touch... Much like Cirno, Alice is pretty awesome. Unlike Cirno, Alice actually gets more than 2 minutes of screen time here, and this encounter is but the first of many! As for how she fits into the Touhou world, she's a doll-maker who first appeared as a boss in Mystic Square (the final PC-9801 game) before returning in this game, and she comes across as a bit of a loner. She also has an incredibly amusing love/hate relationship with Marisa (she wants to ride her broom, if you know what I mean) and her house is just as messy. There's no time to consider all this, though, as there's bullet hell afoot here!



Her first assault against you in this stage is pretty simple- she'll launch out several waves of big bullets that spiral outwards, with each line moving in opposite directions. Since the gaps between them are so huge, they're very easy to weave through. She'll do this twice, and then start throwing more bullets at you- this time, each 'row' has bullets moving both left and right, so not only do the gaps suddenly get much smaller, but they'll be coming at you from both sides. Fortunately, Alice doesn't move about too much, and her health bar's quite small, so just keep dodging and hitting her, and she'll scarper away like the coward she really is.



Then, for a few seconds, you'll be attacked by some fairies. They're really not putting their heart into it, though- they'll lurch on-screen and throw globs of slow-moving bullets at you. They're only a threat if you stop shooting entirely, and as we all know, you should never ever do this. It's not like your fingers can get tired while firing in this game. Well, unless you're not shooting to keep your Cherry points in check or something weird like that. Er, anyway, they don't try for long- they're only here for 10 seconds, tops, before...



Yup, looks like she's back for more punishment. Alice attacks you again, and this time her pattern is even more insultingly easy. She launches out two orbs one after the other, one circling left, and the other to the right, which spew out arrow bullets that fan out in your general direction. Sadly, someone forgot to tell her that this pattern has absolutely huge gaps in it, as the arrow bullets tend to clump together, so it's really not a problem. Keep pumping Alice full of lead magical shots- which is easy, because she hardly moves at all- and she'll eventually scarper away.



And here's the obligatory Lunatic screenshots, demonstrating an extra Spell Card Alice uses during this mid-stage encounter.

'Maiden's Bunraku' is a bit of an odd one. Calling forth her doll minions for the first time in this stage, Alice launches out rigid columns of big blue bullets in all directions as well as firing some more random red bullets, while her doll cohorts start setting up lasers for you to crash into. However! Alice's dolls aren't very bright, and they aren't very strong- if you pump them full of bullets quickly enough, you'll destroy them (and get some items in the process) and they won't spew lasers at you. Aside from that, just keep an eye on the red bullets and you'll be fine here.

Take note, though- when Alice does scarper off, she'll leave behind a 1-Up. Don't forget to grab it!



Unlike the pathetic lot you fought a few moments ago, the next wave of fairies seems pretty intimidating from the screenshots, buuuut while they do launch a lot of bullets at you, if you prioritise which fairies to kill, you'll live longer. The 'normal' fairies in this section launch columns of red bullets at you, all in a pretty line, and also bunches of blue bullets that are nice and easy to graze, but it's the heavily-armoured fairies that cause the most trouble- they'll fire kunai-shaped bullets, a barrage of arrow bullets, spreads of diamond bullets... It's pretty intense. They fill the screen up pretty fast, but only if you let them! These guys drift in from the side of the screen, and they wait a second before they throw everything they've got- stop them in their tracks, and show no mercy! If your aim is true, you can take them out before they become a threat.

... Of course, if you're so inclined, you can also let the fairies live, just to graze for points. Do so at your own risk!

Soon enough, dear Alice will come back for another pop at you.

Marisa would seem the obvious choice to chat with Alice, but she's had her turn. Besides, it would've been too easy to poke fun.

It's Sakuya's turn, then. I had to hack this up to cram all of it in, but the full conversation's here for you to mull over.



Sakuya's referring to her boss here, Remilia Scarlet- a 500-year old vampire brat who is the cheapest boss in the entire series.



Wait... Where is she carrying them?!



She seems so cheerful when talking about her grisly implements of death.

Anyway, let's skip ahead and cut to the chase.



'Ner-ne-ner-ne-ner-ner, I know something you don't know!'



'It is not a trifle' is definitely in the running of the best line in the game.

It certainly isn't a trifle, even I know that much. Anyway, Alice will now pay for her indifference.


♫ BGM: Doll Judgement ~ The Girl Who Played with People's Shapes ♫

As Alice begins the fight, the best music track in the game starts to play, and when you hear this song, you know some serious bullet hell action is about to flare up. Alice starts out by throwing out dolls which explode into a shower of diamond bullets- there's plenty of gaps in-between them, but sometimes finding them in time is tricky, because the bullets move at different speeds. She'll then dart about a bit, and fire a few circular bullet patterns at you- some fast sphere bullets, and then some arrow bullets that eventually form gaps between themselves as they get to the bottom of the screen- wait for them, if you want to make things a little easier. She'll then start the pattern again, but taking her out is pretty easy... As long as you keep her in your line of fire.



Alice's first Spell Card, 'Benevolent French Dolls', looks more intimidating than it actually is. Her dolls fire off single arrow bullets which split into 6 more bullets, and then all of those bullets split again into even more bullets, changing direction each time they split. Despite the amount of bullets this generates, avoiding them isn't too much of a hassle, as there's plenty of gaps for you to fit through. The bullets will also arrange themselves into a lovely symmetrical pattern every now and then, seen in the right-hand screenshot, which makes dodging them even easier. What's more, Alice doesn't move around that much, meaning you can usually keep her in your sights and finish her off after 3 waves. So far, the battle isn't really living up to the totally kickin' background music, but give it time...



Before the next Spell Card, you get this brief attack. Alice only launches one wave, and they turn into Star Items very quickly. Hardly a threat.



The next Spell Card is 'Red-Haired Dutch Dolls' and it's a grazer's dream. Loads of dolls begin to materialise and launch off tightly-packed clumps of diamond bullets before disappearing again. All the while, Alice potters about, doing... Well, nothing. She's content to let her dolls do her work for her. Told you she was a coward. Anyway, this is a really fun attack to get through, because the bullets move so slowly, you can graze them without risking your life- get a Supernatural Border here, and you can make a huge profit! Even better, you can shoot the dolls down, and they'll drop Point and Cherry items. It's tricky to actually catch them, of course, Alice doesn't have much health either, so you can take it easy for a little bit. Y'know, this 'bullet hell' nonsense isn't really hard at all, is it?



The next attack is even easier. There's nothing to this 'curtain fire shooter' lark, the difficulty of the game's been grossly overstated, don't you think? Alice starts firing a wave of sphere bullets that stream around her and fan out in your direction, but fortunately the gaps are absolutely huge. She'll then fire out waves of sphere and arrow bullets that fit into a neat pattern- it's the same one she used before 'Red Haired Dutch Dolls' and it's a doddle to dodge. The only time there's even a slight bit of difficulty is when she starts the pattern again, as the second wave of sphere and arrow bullets are usually only halfway down the screen when she starts the sphere wave again, but even that's not terribly hard to avoid. Really, now, Alice, can't you do any better than this?! Put some effort into it!



As she starts her next Spell Card, the confidence you got from the last two attacks is boosted even further- this looks too easy.

Your confidence... Is misplaced.



'Foggy London Dolls' is this Spell Card's name, and giving you grief is its game. Unlike almost every other Spell Card we've seen so far (and any we'll ever see) this one is just a load of bullets fired at you relentlessly, with no rhyme or reason to it. The only vague semblance of a 'pattern' is that every couple of seconds or so, the amount of bullets gets cranked up as Alice brings out more dolls out to fight, and it's these moments where this Spell Card is its most evil. If you think you can just memorise all the Spell Cards in the game and get through it fine, then 'Foggy London Dolls' is here to have a word with you. All I can say is that you can take solace in the fact that this is another good card to get a Supernatural Border ready for- although it's probably less profitable than 'Red-Haired Dutch Dolls', you might appreciate the safety net it gives you. Just hold on, keep dodging, and try to keep Margatroid in your sights- she moves around a bit in this one- and you might just pull through.



When you're playing in Lunatic, 'Foggy London Dolls' is replaced by 'Spring Kyoto Dolls' and... Well, just look at it.



For her final attack, Alice unleashes another horribly fiendish Spell Card...

Seriously, what did we ever do to her?

You know, aside from kicking her butt for the previous 8 bullet patterns.



'Eerily Luminous Shanghai Dolls' is your introduction to the gigantic sphere bullets. These things look really menacing, but in truth, they're the easiest bullets to deal with- the secret is in the hitbox for these bullets, as it'll only count as a kill if the centre hits you. You might think that even remotely touching any part of these bullets will gun you down, but the white bits are safe, making them smaller than they appear. Even so, don't be too reckless around them, as while their hitbox is small, they can and will still kill you.

As for the Spell Card itself, it's pretty crazy, and it's only after you've faced this one a few times that you begin to realise that, by my word, there actually is a pattern. The blue arrow bullets are fired out in a circular pattern, with huge gaps in-between, so they're not a threat. The brown bullets probably have some sort of pattern, but there's so few of them that they don't really stand out from the others- they don't hinder you too much. The yellow bullets are the problem children here, as they approach you in tightly-packed rows that you're better off getting away from rather than trying to squeeze through- it can be done (if you're some kind of shoot-em-up robot) but it's not worth the risk. Finally, the gigantic bullets keep jumping back and forth between surrounding Alice and launching out in a circular pattern, usually showing up in the most awkward places- this is what those giant bullets do best; they distract you and make you run into the other bullets. Gah.

This Spell Card seems tough now, but do you know what? It's nothing compared to the attacks to come later.

By the time this is over, you'll be begging for a Spell Card as easy as this one, let me tell you, sunshine!



Humbled, Alice tries to joke her way out of this situation- the 'decadent Shinto shrine maiden' she talks about is Reimu.

You know, the same Reimu that takes on several Goddesses in the tenth game, Mountain of Faith, and isn't even impressed.



Sadly, she doesn't try the same joke on Reimu in her story. I wonder why.



So, after beating up Cirno, Letty Whiterock and Chen for absolutely no reason, our heroine finally gets a nod in the right direction.

For those playing at home, Stage 3 is also the final stage available to you in the demo. Get the full version if you want to keep reading!

To the blue sky on the next page!