Stage 5: Staircase of Hakugyokurou
♫ BGM: Mystic Oriental Dream ~ Ancient Temple ♫

The girl lived in the world after death.
They were a half of a phantom and human...

Well, here we are- we're getting close to the end. On the plus side, this stage is a lot shorter than Stage 4, which I'm sure is something you appreciate. However, this stage is also a lot harder, and for certain characters, it's actually the hardest in the game. Many perfect runs have fallen foul to the extremely difficult Spell Cards you're attacked by here, and if you're playing as Marisa... Then God help you. If you're playing as a character with a homing shot, though, it's considerably easier. And by 'considerably easier' I mean 'you'll die about 3 times rather than 5'.



To make matters worse, this stage is haunted by fairy ghosts. Fortunately, Reimu and Company ain't afraid of no ghost.

This actually has an effect on the game, though! Well, kind-of. In this stage, the fairies won't float on-screen to fire bullets at you- they'll materialise courtesy of those wavy lasers, then proceed to rain bullets down on you. They won't stop until you kill them, so don't just leave them to their own devices- gun them down as fast as possible. The screenshots above show you what happens when you decide to let them live, y'see. Anyway, this section is pretty standard stuff, with lots of evil spread fire mixed in with the unending-until-death bullet streams just to kick you while you're down. It's perfectly possible to get through this section unscathed, of course, it all depends on how quickly you take out the ghosts. Might want to bring a Proton Pack with you [That's enough Ghostbusters jokes for one article - Ed]



Oh, isn't that nice? Someone's come to greet us. It's the half-ghost, half-human gardener of the Netherworld, Youmu Konpaku

No, really, she's a gardener. Honest. It's nice that she comes out to personally welcome guests...



... That is to say, she comes to welcome guests to their horrible, bloody end at her hands.



It's unsurprising- mostly because she's the penultimate boss of the game- but Youmu is an absolute pain in the ass to fight; even in this mid-stage skirmish, she gives absolutely no mercy in her efforts to cut you down to size (Arf! Arf!) and, well, she's just mean. Her opening gambit, for instance, is a devious attack that I refer to as the Crossmatrix of Chaos. This evil thing takes the concept of weaving bullets on top of one another to absolute extremes and getting out in one piece is no mean feat. She'll charge up an attack (feel free to wail on her while she's doing so) then launch out two orbs, one either side of her- they'll both launch multiple spreads of sphere bullets aimed in your general direction, and as they make their way down the screen, they'll cross over. Hence the name Crossmatrix of Chaos, y'see. Then, even before the second one's finished, she'll do it again, meaning the crossed-over bullets cross over with more bullets. Finally, she'll send waves of blue and red arrow bullets at you- the blue ones are aimed at you, and the red ones are aimed away from you, to keep you surrounded. Then she'll start all over again.

Of all the attacks in the entire game that I actually know a strategy for, this is the one that gives me the most trouble. With all the bullets heading your way, you'd think that the best tactic is to focus and weave through the bullets very, very slowly. This is all wrong and it'll kill you very quickly if you're playing as Reimu or Marisa (Sakuya's nippy focused speed makes things easier for her). The bullets are a smidgen too fast, and if you try to move between them, you'll be too slow and you'll get yourself killed, and death is an absolute certainty if you try to move up at the same time. You need to let go and use the force (I'd Photoshop Obi-Wan Kenobi into one of these screenshots, but I'm far too lazy/incompetent)... That is to say, don't focus. Just dart through the bullets unfocused, and hey, maybe you'll live!



Oh, and here's the Lunatic version. Whether you're using the Force or not is irrelevant here; you're gonna die!



Anyway, it's time to introduce Youmu's Spell Card gimmick, one of the coolest in the series- she can slow down time.



The first slow-down Spell Card is 'Fasting of the Young Gaki' and it's a pretty gentle introduction to this concept. She'll actually start the attack by slowing everything down for a second- you'll know when she's working her voodoo, because the background turns purple, all bullets turn white, and everything gets a cool motion-blur effect applied- and when she switches it off, she's zipped across the screen, creating a row consisting of nothing but circles of bullets in the blink of an eye. They'll fan out in all directions at a pretty nippy pace, but suddenly...



J-u-s-t as they're getting close to you, bullet time kicks in!

This bit plays out just like it looks- everything on screen slows down, including your character, for a couple of seconds, before cruelly snapping back to the normal speed, just in time for one of the bullets to drill itself into poor Reimu/Marisa/Sakuya's skull. Unfortunately for you lot, I still can't come up with a decent strategy for this fight. It's one of those dastardly sections that just requires you to practise, practise, practice... Although making your way up the screen makes things a little easier for you, as the less bullets you have to weave through, the better. When time slows down, try and find the biggest gaps to get through, and you might make it through unscathed.



The Lunatic Spell Card here, 'Ten Kings' Retribution', is very similar, but it starts much further down the screen. It also plays things a little differently- rather than try to catch you off-guard with the sudden speed-up of the bullets, it keeps things very slow, but crams in as many projectiles as it possibly can in the tiny bit of space at the bottom of the screen. Needless to say, it's pretty difficult, but oddly fun- weaving your way through the bullets to survive is pretty good for keepin' the old heart racing.

Oh, and Youmu is nice enough to drop a 1-Up when you beat her here- don't forget to grab it.



After the mid-boss, there's a very short section with more spoooooky ghost fairies, and for Round 2, they bring out the big guns- their first assault is a multi-coloured trail of death which teaches you, the hard way, that you're supposed to use the whole screen to manoeuvre (in non-hypberolic English, this basically means move move move because they'll fire fast-as-fuck homing bullets that give you no reprieve) and after that, they'll just fire loads of arrows bullets at you- even if you kill them, more of them keep spawning, leaving the play field an absolute mess. Good thing they don't keep up this malarkey for too long, then.

So, now we're at the end of the stage, maybe we'll get an explanation for this mess.

Fortunately, Sakuya was on the scene to report for us- click here for the full interview, this one's cut a little for time.



That name again is Youmu Konpaku, and her job is keeping the garden nice and tidy.

In case you're wondering, 'What garden?!', you'll get your answer on the next page.



So, just to reiterate, you're in the Land of the Dead. Legally, Sakuya is dead right now. Spoooooky.



Evidently, representatives of the Scarlet Devil Mansion do not negotiate with undead terrorists.



The Saigyou-what? Another plot point to be explained on the last page.

Well, there's got to be a little suspense, hasn't there?!



For a girl who's supposed to be half-ghost, she sure witters on. Sakuya has to put her in her place.



Again, note that Youmu comes across as a silver-haired windbag who needs to either put up or shut up.



And with her oh-so-lame smack talk, Youmu finally gets down to business.

If you've made it this far, then congratulations! You must be pretty good at this game.

Now prepare to die.

Your ass is grass- and Youmu's got the lawnmower.


♫ BGM: Hioari Shoots a Strange Bird ~ Till When? ♫

Oh God, not again!

Oh yeah, you'd better believe it- the Crossmatrix of Chaos is back, ready to mop the staircase of Hakugyokurou with your candy-ass. Now, I've played this stage plenty of times, and I've never really noticed much difference between this and the mid-boss version. If there are any differences to the main attack, they're so subtle that they don't make much of a difference, and you need to deal with it in the same way- don't focus, and try not to die. The section at the end with the homing bullets is different though- Youmu uses a lot more bullets here, which means that even though half of them aren't aimed at you, it's going to be a bit of a tight squeeze. Just take heart in the knowledge that this is the final time you have to deal with the Crossmatrix of Chaos... On this stage, at least.



Righto, Spell Card the First is 200 Yojana in 1 Slash' and it's a pretty clever one at that. Youmu starts by sitting at the side of the screen as those giant bullets start spewing from the top of the screen. There's plenty of space between them, so dodging them isn't a problem... Until Youmu slows time down for a second- when things get back to normal, she's already dashed over to the other side of the screen, cutting any giant bullets in her path. They'll explode and turn into a giant cluster-fuck of red bullets, which come in a variety of sizes- small, medium and large. They'll then head in all directions, but before they reach the bottom, Youmu repeats the process, slowing everything down and- crucially- giving you plenty of time to weave between all these red bullets...



Of course, the more big bullets Youmu cuts, the more red bullets you'll have to deal with...

But I'm sure you already figured that out.



Next up on Youmu's ass-kicking parade is something a little different- a really easy pattern. Oh, sure, this looks menacing, especially considering how fast the bullets make their way down the screen, but Youmu made a fatal mistake- there's a gigantic gap right down the middle of these patterns, and since they're aimed straight at you, fitting in these gaps is child's play. However, the red-and-blue set she throws at you also come with the dreaded knives with their weird hit detection and they're aimed at you too. Look at the second screenshot, though, and you can see how to get past them- nudging a little to the left/right when Youmu's throwing the knives at you gives you plenty of room to get out of harm's way, and also get through the third wave of the attack. This is a total pushover of an attack...



... And so is her next Spell Card, when you know what you're doing. 'Karmic Punishment' sees Youmu create a line of bullets that clump together in rows, then sending them out to you- once again, she plays the classic 'just as they reach the bottom of the screen BAM time freeze ha ha ha good luck sucker' manoeuvre, but again, she's made a mistake- just get in the centre of the screen, roughly where the characters are in the screenshots above. Weaving left and right in this position completely removes any challenge this Spell Card might have, except for when the time switches back to normal- you'll need to account for any stray bullets you haven't passed, but aside from that, this is pretty easy... The only problem is actually whittling Youmu's health down, as you'll have to move to the very sides to get her if you've got no homing, then straight back to the middle. As long as you make it to the middle in time, though, you're fine.



The Lunatic card, 'Worldly Attachment L' is completely different. Blue and red bullets start drifting in from the sides, and as well as being annoying and slowing down time every now and then, Youmu will occasionally fire a gigantic death laser straight down the middle of the screen. When the bullets reach the middle, they'll either carry on or turn around, but they're not in neat and tidy rows for you, so you can forget about that. Just, uh, watch the sides and try not to let the stray bullets drill a hole in your side.



'Delusion of Enlightenment' is next, and... Huh? What the hell's she doing at the bottom of the screen? And are those bullets making their way u-

Awwww shit!



Ohohoho yes, Youmu tries to take you out from behind with this attack, trapping you in the middle of the screen, where she gleefully fires gigantic red bullets at you- the middle ones are aimed at you, and the two on each side to hem you in, and she hardly lets up at all. All the while, the diamond bullets slowly march their way up the screen, just waiting for you to slip up and stumble into one of them. Yes, this is a pretty intense Spell Card, with not a bit of time slow-down in sight. It also makes it an extremely fun Spell Card to get through, but it does drag on a bit- Youmu keeps flitting about at the top of the screen, so you have to try avoiding her red shots, avoiding the diamond bullets and trying desperately to keep her in your line of fire. If you're playing as Marisa in particular, this fight tips over from 'intense' to 'absolutely brutal' because of her lack of a homing ability.



Finally, 'Five Signs of the Deva' gets unleashed, and holy hell fuck this Spell Card I hate it so much gaaaaaah. I must've played through this stupid card about 50 times by this point, and the same thing keeps happening- I either die horribly or bomb like a scrub which, obviously, isn't good. Oh, I'm sure there's a pattern to this madness, but I ain't finding it any time soon. In fact, I'm not giving this stupid thing the dignity of a full in-depth description. Instead, I'll say just two things. First, the general idea is that the orbs make bullets appear, Youmu slows down time before they reach the bottom of the screen, you die horribly when you can't make it through. The second is a direct quote from my notepad about this fight- whenever I play through a game to write about here, I keep a notepad handy to make any relevant notes, which often results in some very amusing quotes (such as on the first page of the notes for Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon, where I scrawled, "WHY AM I PLAYING THIS FUCKING GAME SOMEONE, ANYONE, TELL ME") and helps me keep my sanity during the worse games. This is all I wrote for this one:

"HA HA HA GOOD FUCKING LUCK"

And for all those saying 'cry more, n00b', in my defense, this is the only Spell Card in the entire game I absolutely loathe.

Nearly all the others, outside of the hidden stage, I can handle. So, yeah. Bite me.



Anyway, Youmu finally gives up, and Sakuya gets her legends mixed up- I thought silver objects only worked on Werewolves?



For the record, knives totally work on ghosts. I've tried it.

And so, we enter end-game. This is it!

The final enemy is approaching fast!