EDITOR'S NOTE:
I just want you to know that I hate you all as a direct result of having to edit these stupid, stupid things.

Welcome to the meat and potatoes of this little site, Wretch! Video Games!!

Taking its name from the infamous Taito arcade game, The Ninja Kids, this is what I started the site doing, and it's the main event, regardless of the other sections you'll find here. The articles you'll find here aren't quite reviews (they're not nearly concise enough), they're not quite guides (they won't help you that much, really), and they're not even Let's Plays (most Let's Plays are done on message boards with input from the peanut gallery) but they're a weird cross between the three. You've got information about the game, the context and history behind it, and whether it's any good (that's the review part), you've got an exhaustive play-by-play commentary with helpful hints and tips where appropriate (that's the guide part), and finally, you've got a gigantic dollop of comedy constantly pervading the text (there's your Let's Play element).

As I constantly find myself saying on this site, the purpose of these articles is both to entertain and inform, and that's exactly what I'm trying to do here; to make you laugh and make you learn about these games too. A bit like edutainment, except it doesn't suck. The only other notable thing is that I don't give scores at the end of these articles. This wasn't exactly a concious decision- when I started this site all the way back in May '08, I basically had no idea what I was doing and, in the feverish frenzy of article-writing that ensued, I simply didn't give ratings at all. I decided to stick with this policy because, well, these aren't traditional reviews. If you want those, maybe you'd better go here instead.

Whatever these things are, they're at least vaguely entertaining, and there's always cool bonus stuff at the end, so give 'em a shot.

Let's play some video games, shall we?

Wretch!
Video Games!!


Hard Head 2

(Arcade, 1991, SunA)

Introductory!


Charlie Ninja

(Arcade, 1994, Mitchell)

Cartoony!


Insector X
(Arcade/Mega Drive, 1989/1990, Hot-B)

Comparative!


The Outfoxies

(Arcade, 1994, Namco)

Crafty!


Batman

(Arcade, 1991, Atari)

Batty!


Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon

(Arcade, 1995, Gazelle)

Talkative!


Märchen Maze

(Arcade, 1988, Namco)

Nonsense!


Judge Dredd
(Arcade, 1993, Midway)

Judgemental!


Zombie Raid

(Arcade, 1995, American Sammy)

Bloody!


Momoko 120%

(Arcade, 1986, Jaleco)

Frilly!


Perfect Cherry Blossom

(Windows, 2003, Team Shanghai Alice)

Touhou!


James Pond II - Codename: Robocod

(Mega Drive, 1991, Millennium)

Fishy!


King of the Monsters 2 - The Next Thing

(Neo-Geo, 1992, SNK)

Infuriating!


Psycho Soldier

(Arcade, 1987, SNK)

Lyrical!


Bullet

(Arcade, 1987, Sega)

Forgotten!


Laser Ghost

(Master System, 1991, Sega)

Protective!


Splatterhouse

(Arcade, 1988, Namco)

Depressing!


Dead Connection

(Arcade, 1992, Taito)

Untouchable!


Double Target

(Master System, 1987, Sega)

Renamed!


Avengers

(Arcade, 1987, Capcom)

Rescue!


Iron Tank: The Invasion of Normandy

(NES, 1988, SNK)

Revisionist!


Splatterhouse 2

(Mega Drive, 1992, Namco/Now Prod.)

Sequel!


Bloody Wolf

(TurboGrafx-16, 1990, Data East)

Data East!


Dynamite Düx

(Arcade, 1988, Sega AM2)

Daffy!


Balloon Kid

(Game Boy, 1990, Pax Softnica)

Portable!


Undercover Cops

(Arcade, 1992, Irem)

Nazca!


The Speed Rumbler

(Arcade, 1986, Capcom)

Rumbling!


Unknown

(Internet, 2008, Ant Cooke)

Pending!

Well, there goes all of my free time. Can I go back to the index now?